Hello please buy an ugly magazine, pretty please. Also, while you’re here, have you ever thought about why there aren’t more weiner animals? There are weiner dogs. But no other weiners in the animal kingdom. I propose we breed to weiner-ize every animal imaginable. Weiner whale, weiner bear, weiner tiger, weiner giraffe, weiner woman, weiner man, weiner uncle, weiner centipede, weiner butterfly, weiner bird… you get it. We must begin immediately.